Something that’s important, as we’re going through all kind of emotions, changes and uncertainty, is to think about what supports us on a daily basis.
Who and what makes our support system as we navigate the world around us. Building resilience is an everyday project where we all learn what works, what doesn’t and how to get better at it. Becoming aware of what is going on for us, reflecting on what we go through and what we can do with compassion and kindness. I believe resilience is like a muscle: the more you become aware, the more you practice, the stronger it gets.
Let’s have a look at what we could start doing more to become more resilient…
Acknowledge that s*t happens…
Yes – I have said it and it may not be the most cheerful thing to start a blog post! But we do have sets back, we loose people, we go through loss and grief – or even smaller deceptions. Big or small. The first time it happens, it may not be easy to come back from. Realising that things don’t go as planned, realising that we need help , realising that we are humans…
The more we are tuned-in and realise what is happening, we also become aware of what drives our energy and our mood down. We get to know what we can control and what we can’t. So what to do next?
Choose where to focus and build your support system.
Channel the boat in you! I like a good metaphor and this was given to me while training as a resilience practitioner. Imagine you are a boat floating on the sea. when the seas are calm, you float along maybe not even realising where you are going… But when the water gets rough, it can bring you down. So what do you do then?
Let’s do an exercise and work on you for a little. Take a piece of paper, draw a boat ( like the one on the picture – or better!) and draw arrows going up and down – and let’s look at your support system.
Take a few deep breaths – let’s start:
- Arrows going down: Becoming aware of what brings you down when in crisis or even on a daily basis to manage your energy is critical. Write down everything that comes to mind. Situations, people, everything that comes to mind.
- At this point – think about what brings you down that you can actually avoid proactively rather than being caught in the same trap.
- Set boundaries to limit any of those down forces.
- Arrows going up: write down what are all the things and people that bring you up and help you float. Every single thing… and also what else could help that you are not doing yet. Acknowledging that you can starting doing some thing new is a good thing.
- when it comes to what makes you float: write down your strengths, the people around you that are here for you when all is not ok, the self-care actions you are doing regularly (or you should start doing) , what sleep/ food/ water/ exercise you need.
- Think about your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and social needs.
- Thank you about what is missing and how you can go about building your support of “up” arrows.
This is how your support system emerges and you now know that when it’s more difficult, you’ve got those forces that bring your back to floating. And use them every time the boat feels rocky.
What else? ASK for help – if you do not have enough bringing you up – ASK FOR HELP – Be Kind to yourself and reach out to others – asking for help is recognising we are all humans, work in progress and long life learners as every day of our life is different. You have got this.
Building for the future – Practice, assess, repeat.
Building and practising resilience is an everyday affair.
It’s not a once sorted for the rest of your life thing. Looking at my own life, the things I need now are not the same as 20 years ago when I started my working life for example. I lived in a different country, I just got a mobile phone, I was not married, had no children and I had not lived in a pandemic area! We change, the world around us change and what we want does change too. So reassessing the course of the boat and what works and doesn’t is normal.
There is one thing to assess: does what we do help us or arm us in the long term or when we are going through a rough patch. Choose the light.
To note this is one exercise you can do to build your resilience. if you want to start coaching around this subject – feel free to book a possibility session below.
Take care of yourself. Thank you for having read this far 🙂
Want some help to recognise what brings stress in you and what to do? – Download the free emergency self-care help sheet here
Want to know more about your strengths and discover ( or rediscover) them with our strengths coaching program? – Find all the info here
Want to start your coaching journey?- Book a free possibility session here