21st of September is International Day of Peace – and it is true that quite a few places do need peace in the world…

but today I want to speak about starting with us … making peace with ourselves.

I am reminded of my own humanity on a daily basis: juggling family life, not wanting to get up in the morning, feeling like having too much to do and still wanting to do it all and some time just the need to close the door and be alone because I need it.

Because I need to rest and recover, because the cup is full (or rather empty…) – just because life gets in the way (or actually just happens).

I don’t know about you but for me, with all the above comes the frustration or the “should haves” that never happened, the sadness when faced with things I did not want to go through or a realm of emotions that I may or may not be ready to face…

So where do we go from there…

So what does making peace with ourselves mean?

  • Acknowledging what is rather than what could have been

Let’s call a cat a cat… if an emotion is there, present – there is a reason. I have tried to stop brushing my emotions under the carpet and wait for it to disappear, as it does not work. It is uncomfortable sometimes (or most times) but leaving it is the equivalent or having it rot in us and it make things worse – it also make us change how we behave with others and usually our loves ones can see or feel it.

  • Have compassion for what you are going through

So let’s realise what we are going through and love ourselves for realising it is there.  Like we actually love ourselves like our best friend would (rather than inviting our inner critic to speak – it is time for him / her/ them to shut up – and yes I do talk to my inner critic and ask them to go away in those moments…).

I have also noticed – with my children- that how I behave towards myself impact how they behave towards themselves – yep role model – you mimic what you see… children are highly skilled at that :-). Is it more pressure? I actually take it as watching in the mirror and seeing how I can take care of my needs so they can see

  • Take a break – Stop and listen to yourself

Check what you need and what you mind/ body and soul need to recover. Since the pandemic began, this is something I do regularly through out the day as I need it – I need little breather to reconnect, reset and start again / continue on with my day. And I also need longer breaks like sports or something to let the pressure go.

Listen to your body as it knows and stores the trauma and tension. I know that when my neck and arm on the right hand side feel tense I have to address it otherwise pain just takes over and this is all I can think about!

  • Ask for help if and when you need it

Sometimes that is hard – but we are humans – no superhero – and we have messy lives, strong emotions and help is there – whether that’s your partner, best friend, a coach or a health professional – We all need help more or less – more at times than at others

I have my go-to people and coaches, medical help at times depending on what I need – as otherwise I now know I can’t function and I will not be nice to be around! It took me years… and it is still a work in progress but I am on the journey

What about you? Are you making peace with your humanity?

What can you start doing today ?

 

Want some help to recognise what brings stress in you and what to do? – Download the free emergency self-care help sheet here and do the exercises to help you manage your own stress.

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